5 UNDER 5 - Which of these angry wagons would you drive?

Kinja'd!!! "zacarious" (zacarious)
08/21/2014 at 09:43 • Filed to: station wagons

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And if you live in America you can only choose from the two bookends - i.e. the Merc and Volvo as they are the only ones for sale here.

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DISCUSSION (28)


Kinja'd!!! Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish > zacarious
08/21/2014 at 09:45

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Alpina all day!


Kinja'd!!! mr_gofast > zacarious
08/21/2014 at 09:45

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audi - becausewinter


Kinja'd!!! macanamera > zacarious
08/21/2014 at 09:47

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Audi. No question.


Kinja'd!!! Nibbles > zacarious
08/21/2014 at 09:48

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CTS-V


Kinja'd!!! Sn210 > zacarious
08/21/2014 at 09:49

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I'd pick the Merc, it's the most insane


Kinja'd!!! Textured Soy Protein > zacarious
08/21/2014 at 09:51

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I was walking around in a kinda fancy waterfront town with my parents and gf a few days ago when I saw an E-class wagon approaching. I said, "ah, an E-class wagon, the ultimate bougie vehicle." I then had the explain to my mom what "bougie" meant.

As it pulled closer, I heard a low rumble coming from it and thought that didn't sound quite right. Then I and my dad both realized, "oh, it's an AMG."

Based only on exhaust note while slowly creeping down a residential street, I'd probably take the E63.


Kinja'd!!! Textured Soy Protein > mr_gofast
08/21/2014 at 09:52

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The Benz is awd now also.


Kinja'd!!! mr_gofast > Textured Soy Protein
08/21/2014 at 09:55

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awd is not Quattro..


Kinja'd!!! nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul > zacarious
08/21/2014 at 09:57

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Benzo - it can be best described as "fancy bat shit". It's pretty and well refined in its own right, but it's also clinically insane. Think of it as a ridiculously hot lady friend with a killer job, likes to sky dive, loves to be around you and your parents... But when the lights go out she tries to put things in your butt.


Kinja'd!!! patgilmartin > zacarious
08/21/2014 at 09:58

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has to be the Jag. how else can the villains from movies cart their villain children around town?


Kinja'd!!! unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) > zacarious
08/21/2014 at 09:58

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the jaaag


Kinja'd!!! Brian Silvestro > zacarious
08/21/2014 at 09:59

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The jaguar, it is simply the most badass.


Kinja'd!!! PelicanHazard > zacarious
08/21/2014 at 10:00

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The Benz. It keeps the +2 rear-facing seats, right? A friend of mine's daughter might enjoy rides in those seats once she no longer needs a car seat.


Kinja'd!!! ColoradoTaco > zacarious
08/21/2014 at 10:00

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Fuck I'd be happy just to get a chance to buy a B8 S4 avant, the RS4 is, and will likely always be, a pipe dream


Kinja'd!!! Thunderbee - Has the engine that kids like > zacarious
08/21/2014 at 10:13

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Jaaaaaaag is best wagon!


Kinja'd!!! RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > zacarious
08/21/2014 at 10:17

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https://c2.staticflickr.com/2/1263/4723706…

Sorry, my favorite angry wagon series comes in Buick.


Kinja'd!!! AMGtech - now with more recalls! > mr_gofast
08/21/2014 at 10:24

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4matic laughs at snow. I know this from experience.


Kinja'd!!! AMGtech - now with more recalls! > zacarious
08/21/2014 at 10:26

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amg of course. Very practical, comfortable and livable when not driving like an insane person.


Kinja'd!!! M54B30 > zacarious
08/21/2014 at 10:29

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the Jag looks best (first time I've ever said that) but I'll take the BMW for daily operations.

Or whichever one comes with a manual, because transmissionist


Kinja'd!!! nucciOMG > zacarious
08/21/2014 at 10:41

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Merc because straight pipes.


Kinja'd!!! mr_gofast > AMGtech - now with more recalls!
08/21/2014 at 10:48

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ive tried 4matic its very good, however i prefer quattro personally - i feel more confident with it.


Kinja'd!!! Devlin Munion > zacarious
08/21/2014 at 12:12

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I would love that Alpina....or the Jaaaaaaaaggg.


Kinja'd!!! Dale Franks > nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul
08/21/2014 at 16:33

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So, you're saying it's perfect, then.


Kinja'd!!! Ed, for the old good times > zacarious
08/21/2014 at 19:48

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Brown Volvo.


Kinja'd!!! samssun > zacarious
08/21/2014 at 21:55

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For reasons of weight, I'm going to say RS3, then the tune and couple grand in hardware it would take to match that 3.6s 0-60 time

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Kinja'd!!! AMGtech - now with more recalls! > mr_gofast
08/21/2014 at 23:23

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To each his own I suppose. I personally don't like the feel of the Quattro system so, yeah.


Kinja'd!!! BJ > zacarious
08/23/2014 at 09:55

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Since we're dreaming...

Magically I'm rich, and since I could afford it, I would pick the Jaguar and pay the extra to import it to Canada. Then I would go and burn donuts in front of all of the local BMW dealerships. Then I would pick my kids up from school, get groceries, and then burn donuts in front of the house because the kids would find it funny.

My wife would make this face, and all would be good in the world.

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Kinja'd!!! ACESandEIGHTS > zacarious
09/02/2014 at 16:48

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CTS V-Wagon. The more angular and aggro the better.